The real Chris Hugh and Rupert walked up to the gate of the small, million dollar Silicon Valley home.
"Well, I'm going to go now," Rupert said.
Chris turned in surprise and disappointment. "Don't you want to go for a walk with me and Twitch?"
"No, I'll just go."
Chris knew that Rupert had important, world-changing things to do. Whether he was going to build a hospital or use his fantastic intellect to invent a new method and apparatus to achieve some feat of electronicality about which Chris was clueless, the world needed him. Therefore, she limited her pouting and whining and thanked him for the lovely outing. He gallantly thanked her for the pleasure of her company, and left.
"Hello, sweethearts! Anyone want to go for a walk?" the real Chris called as she walked into the cathedral ceilinged living room. The real Mr. Kitten and Twitch greeted her in their usual way, which was to continue whatever they were doing as if she didn't exist.
"Hi, darling," she said, seeing Twitch lounging on the living room sofa. "Would you like to go for a walk in your stroller?"
Twitch stared at her with green eyes whose strange luminescence had baffled the specialists at UC Davis. All they could do was attribute it to aging and warn her that he might lose his vision completely. He already had difficulty seeing in dim light and Chris had begun keeping some light on all the time in all rooms, even the bedroom.
"How have you been? Whatcha been doing?" Chris asked, completely unaware of the idiotic baby voice she was using. Being a real cat, Twitch did not reply.
"You are so handsome!"
Chris sat next to the cat and petted his stomach. He had recently had the exploratory surgery that had found the cancer, so his abdomen had been shaved. The surgeon had taken the opportunity to remove a bladder stone, so all his little cat junk had also been shaved. Bare patches on his front legs showed where the intravenous lines had gone. Since he had recently begin insisting on sleeping on Chris' bare belly, and because he was not always fastidious about controlling his reflexes whn he lost traction, he wore vinyl caps on all his claws. Unfortunately, Chris had only been able to find the caps in pink sparkles. To top off his eccentric appearance, he was wearing a black and white striped ensemble Chris had sewed for him and dubbed "Jailhouse Rock."
Chris scooped up the impassive cat and held him like a baby. "Have you been a good boy? Who's handsome? Who's handsome? Wanna go for a walk?" She hugged him and kissed him and he drooled with pleasure. After a while, Twitch struggled a bit and Chris dropped him into his stroller. It looked like a baby stroller with a mesh box rather than a child's seat.
"Wanna go for a walk, Kitten?" Chris called as she gathered her keys. She knew he didn't. He never wanted to leave the house and viewed all Chris' ideas with deep suspicion. She only asked him to be polite.
Chris and Twitch walked under the stars and Chris told him all about her dinner with Rupert, her thoughts on the issues of the day, and various other topics, none of which Twitch cared about, but he enjoyed the sound of her voice. He sat up in his stroller, breathing in the night air and soaking up the sights and sounds.
He enjoyed their walk so much that even after they got home, he stayed in his stroller until Chris called to him.
"Ooh, Twitch, I forgot. We brought some goodies for you!" She opened the take-home box from Pampas and filled his food dish with samples from her and Rupert's dinner. Twitch sniffed at the little bits of roasted lamb, top sirloin, filet mignon and other good things.
Chris petted him while he ate, his favorite way of eating. "Come on, Twitch, what's up?"
Twitch finally relented. "Thanks a million, Chris. You're my BF!"
"That's my boy," Chris said. She relaxed and ruffled his fur. "But don't you mean BFF--Best Friends Forever?"
"I dunno," Twitch said, stepping on his baby scale. "That rotten brat called Warrior Cat 'BF' and said it stood for 'Best Friend.'"
Chris gently moved Twitch off the scale so she could turn it on and zero it. Once it was ready, she guided him onto it again. "Hmm," she said, writing down his weight. "Maybe she's calling him by his initials. His name is Bananas Foster."
Twitch looked up at her, his eyes wide and dilated. "Bananas Foster?" he asked.
Kitten poked his head around a corner.
"Well, yes." Chris said. "I know he's kind of a tough guy, but with that creamy yellow fur of his--oh, hey, are you okay?"
Twitch had fallen off the scale, screaming with laughter. "Bananas Foster?" He clutched his bare belly. Mr. Kitten collapsed on the floor, flopped onto his back and choked out, "Bananas Foster?" Twitch rolled off the counter and onto the floor. He buried his giggles in Mr. Kitten's fluffy stomach. Kitten waggled his legs in the air and barked. Twitch nipped Kitten's tail, Kitten jumped in the air. They hugged each other. They chased each other. They shrieked with laughter. "Bananas Foster! Bananas Foster!"
Later on that night, Chris spot cleaned the carpet. The cats had literally laughed until they were sick.Pin It Now!