Twitch's diary: Two days before starting chemotherapy

Two Days Before Chemo
Written by Twitch

I don't feel well.

I'm lying on the floor staring at my human. She has decided to lie down with me while she scratches her stupid stick on some paper. Some delicious paper.

The human doesn't like it when I tear up her notebooks, shred the pages, eat them and throw them up on the carpet.

I don't know why.

I don't feel well.

I keep staring.

She tears out a leaf of paper, wads it up and gives it to me.

Excellent. My stare does all. I stare at my litter box, she cleans it. I stare at my water bowl, she refreshes it. When I was recuperating after surgery, I would stare at the bed, and she would pick me up and put me on it. A later stare, and she would gently lower me to the floor.

Let all members of my noble race with perceptive humans hear me: Establish a policy of firm but gentle command and you will inspire loyalty and quick obedience from your subordinates.

Mmm, the lovely crinkly sound that teases my ears, the charming diversion of dragging my claws through them, and finally the sweet satisfaction as my saliva saturates the paper. The only thing missing is our customary game of tug-of-war.

Of course I jested when I referred to my human as a servant. It is a jest we share, but in reality she is my cherished friend. She knows more of this world of humans than I do, so I defer to her judgment in many ways. She uses all the creativity and resources at her disposal to provide me the best life possible.

I'm bored with this paper.

I feel quiet, contemplative, and gassy.

Would that the foul gas gurgling playfully in my belly before escaping into the room and peeling the paint off walls were my only ailment. Alas, as amusing as the symptom is, the cause is serious. I have cancer.

Yesterday evening my human and the Man took me for a walk in a cat stroller. I loved it, loved walking with her under the stars.

But she felt lonely and almost afraid looking out at that celestial sphere, the little pinpricks of light streaming down at us from stars too distant for her mind to comprehend. She exclaimed at their beauty while turning her mind away from their meaning.

Poor humans, they feel so alone in the universe, so exposed, so entirely exposed on our planet. They look out into infinity and rarely allow themselves to notice that infinity also looks at them.

After our walk I stayed out all night in my outdoor enclosure, watching the stars wheel above me and thinking of the day when I go to join them. Then I watched as the Earth turned its face back to the sun and lay basking in its warmth until the human asked me to come inside.

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