Blondhilda swung her sword of Republik Domin, decapitating Frankenstein’s monster. Foul-scented ichor fountained from the wound as the head rolled like a bowling ball upon impact. Hello Sailor had her katana drawn. She fluidly shifted stances from the Chrysanthemum Form to the Crescent Moon Form as she struck Dr. Jekyll, transformed into his brutish Mr. Hyde alter-ego. Unlike Blondhilda’s dramatic attack, Hello Sailor focused on quiet efficiency so her sword cauterized as it struck and Mr. Hyde fell sliced cleanly in half. Grimgudrun raised her polished black sword over her head. Smoky tendrils like a kraken’s tentacles emerged from the blade, snaking over to wrap around Moriarty. When the tendrils had a firm grip on the villain they ripped his soul from his body with an audible tear and dragged the screaming incorporeal spirit into Grimgudrun’s sword Bloodsoul, leaving behind an empty, smoking husk.
The Stone Prince removed a handful of pebbles from his pocket and dropped them on the floor. The tiny rocks shook and grew into hulking Stone Golems imbued with Earth Elemental magic by his kingdom’s most powerful sorcerers. The Stone Prince and Apricot Princess took turns commanding the obedient golems to fight off the gathered enemies.
Solar Wind and Pale Cadaver fired away on their instruments with their amps cranked into the redlines. Every distorted power chord, blistering solo, and thunderous drum beat powered the bands’ respective mascots. Cad Cadsworth wielded his two signature weapons, a meat cleaver in one hand and flensing knife in the other, with deadly efficiency. CC reached full alertness where his skillful agility rivaled the Warrior Cat. CC was a furious buzzsaw of teeth and claws, effortlessly shifting between his human and feline forms to take down enemies in rapid succession. The two band mascots stopped their assault for a moment to greet their close friend, the LOLshark. He appeared through the dining room floor in a splash, heading straight for Grease who he tore apart before smiling to his friends who eagerly waved goodbye.
Holt Su Van Hian, Pope of the Church of Saint Redia, shook his head at the incompetence of his subordinates. He had to step in to take care of this situation himself, which should not be difficult. He drew his powers directly from the heavens, so no lesser pagan magics could stand in his way. He stretched out a palm towards the Heroines Three. Blondhilda, Hello Sailor, and Grimgudrun disappeared in a cloud of smoke with only a trio of mint-condition graphic novels remaining in their place. Pope Hian clenched his fist and the Stone Prince’s Golems collapsed into piles of rocks as their Earth Elemental cores faded like candles snuffed out. He unclenched the fist and the amplifier stacks of both Solar Wind and Pale Cadaver short-circuited. Cad Cadworth dissolved into a pile of dust and CC’s energy left him, leaving him yawning and looking desperate to take a nap. With a single glare, the LOLshark whimpered like a scolded puppy and retreated into the waters beneath the dining room floor.
The gathered partygoers spoke in hushed whispers as they looked upon Pope Hian with trepidation. They immediately thought of every Asian movie that they had seen: Chinese martial arts films, Hong Kong action movies, Japanese samurai movies, and Japanese yakuza dramas, among others. They collectively thought that the massive, powerfully built Pope Hian looked like every villain from those movies combined into one man who epitomized evil. The Anchorite was pleased because this was exactly the aesthetic that he aimed for when he created the character. Chris Hugh thought that he looked like her husband Rupert gone bad. Pope Hian wore a wicked, self-satisfied smile as he single-handedly defeated the gathered heroes without effort as none of his expendable henchman could accomplish.
A silver-haired man in a tailored suit walked through the gathered crowd that parted to let him through. He looked directly at Pope Hian.
“So you’re the chump who’s crashing my party.”
“I know not what a chump is, but it clearly sounds like an insult. You are yet another piece of Baser trash who does not know his place. It’s time to learn your lesson.”
“I have no idea what a Baser is, but it sounds like an insult to me. I’m not about to take an insult from a man in a dress.”
“Fool! These are the clerical vestments signifying that I have God’s own authority on Earth. You saw how no mortal magic stood a chance against mine.”
“You claim to be a man of the cloth, but you’re just like every cheap thug and two-bit bully that I grew up with back in my old neighborhood. You claim that no magic will work against you, but I’m thinking a more conventional method will. Come on big man, you and me – one on one, last man standing.”
“Very well, I accept your challenge.”
The partygoers formed a circle around Pope Hian and Anton Fitzgibbon, providing them with a proper ring for their fight. Anton removed his suit coat and tie, handing both to his human who took them. He kissed her on the cheek. The Warrior Cat spoke to him.
“Allow me to take your stead, Boss Cat. It will be an honor.”
“I appreciate it, but this is my battle. This clown tried to ruin my party and it’s up to me to put this bully in his placePin It Now!