The reunion part 20


After another failed attack on the reunion, Evil Chris brought her minions to the Northern California mini mansion of the vampire Lily.

Lily had the face of an innocent girl on the brink of womanhood and flame red hair that flowed down her childlike figure. Her skin was the color of a marble statue, as soft as a fog that rolls across a graveyard under a new moon. Her sweetness was a beautiful dream from which the sleeper never awakes, the morning finding him cold and grey, his eyes open and staring into the middle distance, seeing what no living human can see but that we will all see some day.

Lily folded her arms and leaned against the doorway wall. "So nice of you to remember me after 10 years."

"I needed somewhere to go," Chris said. 

Lily walked to the bank of floor to ceiling windows in the living room. She had crossed of the seas of the Atlantic over a thousand years before.  She had been a slave. And then she became a vampire. She had never known love, or warmth or human kindness. Chris had brought her into existence, with her thousand years of horrible memory, and then abandoned her. Now Chris was bringing a host of new characters into her lonely world, to stay for a while, and then leave, leaving Lily behind in the void. Lily had been used cruelly when she was a slave, and when she became a vampire she lost her soul. And yet Evil Chris's callousness seared her down to the empty place where her soul used to be and filled it with an ocean of hot, bitter tears.

Lily looked out at the night lights of Silicon Valley. "So these are the characters you've been working with lately, are they?"

"Yeah," Chris huffed as she set down the last bucket. Under Lily's cathedral ceiling, 15 buckets of blood and meat stood leaking onto the parquet floor.

"Do you take your companions fishing?" Lily said coolly. "You could use them as bait."

With a squelching sound and a barely audible scream of pain, two chunks of meat fused into one. The villains were beginning to coalesce again.

Evil Chris stuck her finger into a buckets and swirled it around a  bit. "Hey, don't insult them," she said, slapping her thigh. "These are my chums." 

***

Back at the rodizio restaurant, all the characters were huddled in the underground dining area except for Chris, the Anchorite and Twitch.

Crouching low, a waiter ran to Chris's table and offered her and the Anchorite a serving of fillet mignon from a barbecue spit. When he saw Twitch come around the corner, he dropped it and ran.

"You would think people who dealt with barbecue all day long wouldn't be so afraid of a bit of fresh meat," Chris said.

"Yes, um. Maybe more than just 'a bit.'l The Anchorite shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Twitch seems very… Energetic today. I didn't expect him to deal with the attackers single-handedly and with such…"

"Decisiveness?" Chris suggested.

"I was going to go with 'unimaginably bloody savagery' but yeah. Okay. Is there anything going on with him today?"

After dispatching the attackers, Twitch had spent the next six hours intermittently running around the restaurant screaming invectives, and cuddling with Chris.

Upon hearing the Anchorite's  question, Twitch thundered across the room and curled his 6 foot six frame into Chris's lap. He threw his arms around her and started licking her neck. Chris laughed and pushed him away. "Oh, sweetie. You're getting blood on me." She scratched behind his ears and he drooled with happiness. Then he shook his head and, as always, flung his saliva into Chris's eye.

"Okay, here's what happened. There is a pill I'm supposed to give Twitch that I am supposed to cut into eighths. I'm just supposed to give him one eighth. And there's this other pill, where I'm supposed to give the whole pill. So—"

Twitch bounced on Chris's lap and shouted, "just the headlines, human! Get to the point! You overdosed me, you stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid stupid stupid —"

"So I called the vet, and he said to give Twitch a teaspoon of hydrogen peroxide to induce him to vomit —"

"And then you looked at the Internet! And oh by the way, do you think I enjoy having hydrogen peroxide shot down my throat? This was the worst day of my life! The worst! Worst, worst, worst, worst worst worst —"

"And several reliable sources had instructions to make the cat walk in order to mix the contents of the stomach —"

Twitch turns to the Anchorite. "And then she put a leash on me and triedto make me walk! Make me. Walk. Am I a dog?" He turned to Chris. "Am I a dog? Ha? A dog? —"

"Well, after a while, he just refused to walk —"

"It's called civil disobedience, stupid human. You made this the worst day of my life. The worst, worst, oh, let me skip ahead. We ended up having to go to the vet. I hate the vet! This was the worst, worst, worst —"

"Well, of course, I was going nuts by  this time. I knew that the stomach contents needed to be agitated, so I put Twitch on the bed, let him support himself with his front legs, and jiggled his back end to try to mix the contents of the stomach—"

"— Worst, worst, worst —"

"Then he peed on me."

"Okay, maybe the day wasn't all bad."

The Anchorite coughed. "He's rather...biological, isn't he?"
"Well," Chris continued. "I took him to the vet and the vet talked with his oncologist and did other research and decided that no further action was necessary."

Chris sighed and patted Twitch's  head. "The vet just warned me that Twitch might—"

Twitch jumped off Chris's lap and ran away screaming. He jumped into a pool of blood and skidded for 15 feet, whooped, then walked on his hands over to the railing of the mezzanine. From there he jumped to his feet, unzipped his Saville Row pants and urinated onto the buffet on the floor below.

"— act strange for a while."
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